I’ve been sick for the past one week or so. After a lot of tests and prescription drugs, the doctor finally decided that I don’t have H1N1 or Pneumonia and left it at “some respiratory track infection”, and got bored of me.
So I have been moping around the house with nothing to do. Watching the Indian team play cricket in the T20 world championship proved a waste of time and energy. The utter lack of good stuff to watch of TV never fails to surprise me. With the exception of the occasional cricket, there is absolutely nothing worth watching on Indian TV… nothing!
I did manage to play a fair bit of Modern Warfare 2 before my laptop would start complaining of overheating. My great days of gaming are behind me, though I did enjoy the game. I couldn’t help feeling the levels have gotten a bit shorter though.
After wasting time on all these sundry activities, I would just sit and think. I have been extremely busy for the past 5-6 months, and this is something which I never had the time to do. It has been one hell of a roller-coaster ride, full of ups and downs. Things have been very different for me of the past one year or so, but the last few months have been utter madness. And now, more than ever, there is a big question mark in the horizon. I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen to me even one month down the line. The more I think about it, the more scary it gets. I used to enjoy this at first.. the uncertainty, the randomness.. but I am getting tired. I miss being jobless and boring and carefree with nothing to do. No need to worry about work, no need to worry about where/how to stay, no need to worry about money. Now, there are so many concerns to think about.. My mind is never at ease. And I wonder if it was worth it. And I wonder how things would have been had I didn’t make those few very critical mistakes. But, fuck it. Life is too short for regrets. And I have evaded responsibility for way too long and I am learning to live with it now.
Yeah, its weird how much you start thinking when you have the time.